Very early in my life, my doctor told me that my likelihood of having my children would be very slim. The probability was never zero; it just would not be easy for me to become pregnant. It was never an issue. I remember looking at him when he told me, and I replied: “Not a problem; there’s always adoption.” I knew in my heart that it would be a route I would take. There was never a question about it.
Later, when I was dating and married, my (ex)husband and I discussed what we wanted. I always wanted to adopt an older child: 6 and up. My boundaries are no diapers and no strollers in Disneyland. (Have you seen some of the mommas at theme parks with their strollers? It’s rough!)
However, I have always wanted to do more than adopt. I wanted to foster children, too, mostly preteens and older. I had an amazing role model; my mom took me in as a young teen. I credit her for the woman I’ve become today.
It became more powerful. I saw that, even as a single mother, I could provide a secure and caring environment for those who most needed it. Adopting teenagers has special difficulties, but it’s also a very fulfilling (and, I should say, a lot of fun) experience.
It’s difficult to foster teenagers. These kids have experienced severe trauma, which can make their actions challenging to understand. But it’s important to realize that these actions have their roots in their past experiences. It’s important to look behind their expressions/attitudes and understand the hurt and anxiety driving them. They are scared of so many things, including fear of being rejected.
One of the most amazing parts of fostering teenagers is gaining their trust and watching them flourish. It is amazing to see the shift as they start to feel respected and safe.
Balancing a career while fostering isn’t without its challenges, but the support system I’ve built, including friends, family, and professional resources, has been invaluable. It’s about finding a balance and ensuring that my professional responsibilities and role as a foster mom are managed effectively.
In the end, I never would have guessed how much fostering teenagers has improved my life. Although the road has its ups and downs, the benefits greatly exceed the difficulties. I’m appreciative of the chance to positively impact these kids’ lives and give them a place to call home where they may experience love and support.
You should know that adopting or fostering a child can lead to a great deal of happiness and fun and amazing ways to enjoy life. And never forget that all it takes to change a child’s life is just one person.