I need to talk about something that doesn’t get discussed enough in foster parent circles: Are you teaching your foster teen about their rights?
Not just mentioning them in passing. Not just hanging a poster on the wall that nobody reads. I mean actually sitting down and going through the California Foster Youth Bill of Rights with them so they know what their entitled to.
Because here’s the thing – too many foster parents don’t understand the Bill of Rights themselves. And even more don’t teach it to the kids in their care. Then these teens move to another placement and get taken advantage of because they don’t know any better.
That ends now.
What is the California Foster Youth Bill of Rights?
The California Foster Youth Bill of Rights is part of the state’s Welfare and Institutions Code Section 16001.9. It’s not a suggestion. It’s not a guideline. It’s state law.
This law spells out exactly what rights every child and teen in foster care has. And I mean EVERY right – from the basics like food and shelter to privacy, education, healthcare, contact with family, participation in normal activities, and so much more.
But here’s what kills me: I’ve met teens who’ve been in care for YEARS and have no idea these rights exist. They think whatever their current foster parent says is the law. They don’t know they can push back. They don’t know they can advocate for themselves.
And that’s on us as foster parents.
Why Foster Parents Need to Know These Rights
Before you can teach your teen their rights, you need to know them yourself. And I’m not talking about a quick skim during your RFA training that you forgot about two weeks later.
I’m talking about actually understanding what these rights mean in practice.
Some foster parents genuinely don’t know. They went through training, got licensed, and now their winging it based on what feels right to them. But “what feels right” isn’t always legal.
Some foster parents know but choose to ignore certain rights. I’ve heard foster parents say things like “well, that right doesn’t apply in MY house” or “that’s just a guideline.” No. It’s the law. You don’t get to pick and choose.
And some foster parents actively work against these rights because they see them as threats to their authority. These are usually the same ones who complain about “kids having too many rights these days.”
None of these approaches are okay.
The Rights That Get Ignored the Most
Let me highlight some of the rights that I see violated or ignored regularly:
The Right to Privacy
Foster youth have the right to make and receive confidential phone calls and send and receive unopened mail. They also have the right to be free from unreasonable searches of personal belongings.
But I’ve seen foster parents who:
- Read their teen’s texts and emails
- Go through their room without cause
- Monitor every single phone call
- Open their mail
Unless there’s a legitimate safety concern or a court order, you can’t do this. Privacy matters. It builds trust. And its their legal right.
The Right to Contact Family
Foster youth have the right to contact family members unless prohibited by court order. They also have the right to visit and contact siblings unless prohibited by court order.
Yet I’ve heard foster parents say:
- “I don’t think that parent deserves to talk to them”
- “Their sibling is a bad influence”
- “They can see their family when they earn it”
Unless the COURT says no contact, you don’t get to make that call. Your feelings about their family don’t override their rights.
The Right to Personal Belongings and Money
Foster youth have the right to keep their own earnings and personal allowance. They have the right to participate in age-appropriate activities and have access to their own money.
But some foster parents:
- Withhold allowance as punishment
- Take their teen’s earnings “for safekeeping”
- Control every dollar
- Require permission to spend their own money
That money is theirs. Not yours to control.
The Right to Normalcy
Foster youth have the right to participate in extracurricular activities, have social contacts outside the foster care system, and engage in age-appropriate activities.
Yet I see foster parents who:
- Won’t let teens do sleepovers (ever)
- Refuse to allow extracurricular activities
- Isolate them from friends
- Treat them differently than bio kids
The reasonable and prudent parent standard exists for a reason. Foster teens deserve normal teenage experiences.
The Right to Education
Foster youth have the right to remain in their school of origin when possible, access to educational support, and participation in age-appropriate extracurricular activities at school.
But I’ve seen foster parents who:
- Force school changes for their own convenience
- Won’t provide transportation to the school of origin
- Refuse to let them do after-school activities
- Don’t advocate for their educational needs
- Dismiss their learning difficulties as “just being difficult”
Education is not optional. Supporting their education is your job.
The Right to Religious Freedom
Foster youth have the right to attend religious services and activities of their choice, including traditional cultural practices.
Yet some foster parents:
- Force their teen to attend their church
- Refuse to take them to services of their own faith
- Mock or belittle their religious beliefs
- Tell them they can’t practice their religion “in this house”
Unless there’s a legitimate safety concern, you don’t get to control their spiritual life.
A real example from my own experience: I had a teen come to me who was Jewish. At her previous placement, the foster parent told her she had to attend their Pentecostal church every week because “there was no one to babysit her” and the foster parent “was not going to miss church.”
This teen – who had her own faith, her own religious identity – was forced to sit through services that weren’t hers. Week after week. Because it was convenient for the foster parent.
When she told me this story, she said she felt like her identity didn’t matter. Like being Jewish was something she had to hide or set aside to make her foster parent’s life easier.
That’s not okay. That’s a violation of her rights. And it damaged her trust in foster parents and the system.
Why You MUST Teach Your Teen These Rights
Here’s why this matters so much:
Your placement isn’t forever. Even if your planning to adopt, even if everything is going great – statistically, most teens will have another placement at some point. When they leave your home and go somewhere else, they need to know what’s legal and what’s not.
Not all foster parents are good foster parents. I wish that wasn’t true. But it is. Your teen needs to be able to recognize when their rights are being violated so they can speak up.
Self-advocacy is a life skill. Teaching your teen to know and assert their rights isn’t about them being “difficult.” Its about them learning to advocate for themselves – a skill they’ll need their entire life.
Caseworkers don’t always catch violations. With high caseloads and monthly visits, caseworkers can miss things. If your teen knows their rights, they can report violations themselves.
It builds trust. When you proactively teach your teen their rights, your showing them you’re not trying to control them. You’re showing them you want them to be informed and empowered.
How to Actually Teach These Rights
Don’t just hand them a pamphlet and call it done. Here’s what actually works:
1. Go Through It Together
Sit down with the actual Foster Youth Bill of Rights document. You can find it on the California CDSS website or get a copy from your FFA. Go through it right by right.
Say things like:
- “Did you know you have the right to…?”
- “This means that I can’t…”
- “If any foster parent tries to…, that’s against your rights”
2. Make It Practical
Don’t just read the legalese. Translate it into real scenarios.
For example:
- “You have the right to privacy in your mail. That means I’m not allowed to open your letters.”
- “You have the right to contact your siblings. Even if I think the visit went badly, I can’t stop you from calling them unless a judge says so.”
- “You have the right to participate in extracurricular activities. If you want to join the drama club or play basketball, I need to support that.”
- “You have the right to attend religious services of your choice. Even if I don’t go to that church, I need to help you get there.”
- “You have the right to see your case file and know what’s being said about you in court.”
- “You have the right to speak to the judge at your court hearings. You don’t have to just sit there silently.”
3. Revisit It Regularly
Don’t make it a one-time conversation. Bring it up when relevant situations come up.
When they ask about something:
“Can I go to the school dance?” – “Yes, and actually that’s part of your rights – you have the right to participate in extracurricular and social activities.”
4. Model Respecting Their Rights
The best teaching is showing, not telling. When you consistently respect their rights, they learn what that looks like.
This means:
- Knocking before entering their room
- Not reading their texts or journal
- Letting them attend their religious services
- Supporting their extracurricular activities even when it’s inconvenient
- Facilitating sibling contact
- Taking them to court hearings and letting them speak to the judge
- Giving them access to their own medical information
- Allowing age-appropriate independence
- Not searching their belongings without legitimate safety concerns
5. Teach Them How to Report Violations
This is crucial. Your teen needs to know:
- They can tell their caseworker
- They can call the Foster Care Ombudsman
- They can speak to the judge at court hearings
- They can contact Community Care Licensing
Give them these numbers. Make sure they know how to use them.
What Happens When Foster Parents Don’t Teach These Rights
I’ve seen what happens when teens don’t know their rights:
They accept mistreatment as normal. They think every foster home violates their privacy. They think every foster parent controls who they can see. They think isolation is just “how foster care is.”
They can’t advocate for themselves. When a foster parent violates their rights, they don’t speak up because they don’t know they can.
They don’t trust the system. If every placement violates their rights and nobody tells them its wrong, they assume the whole system is rigged against them.
They age out unprepared. If they never learned to advocate for their basic rights as teens, how will they advocate for themselves as adults?
The Pushback I’ve Heard
Some foster parents push back on teaching these rights. Here’s what I hear and why it’s wrong:
“If I tell them their rights, they’ll be impossible to manage.”
No. Kids who know their rights don’t become tyrants. They become informed. There’s a difference between a teen who knows they have the right to privacy and a teen who’s being disrespectful. You can have boundaries AND respect their rights.
“Some of these rights are unrealistic.”
Then you shouldn’t be a foster parent. These aren’t suggestions you can ignore when their inconvenient. They’re legal requirements.
“This will make them think they can do whatever they want.”
Rights come with responsibilities. Teaching them their rights doesn’t mean there are no expectations. It means those expectations have to exist within the framework of their legal rights.
“My house, my rules.”
Actually, no. California law, California rules. Your house has to operate within the legal rights afforded to foster youth.
A Real Example
I had a teen come to me from another placement. Within the first week, I went through the Bill of Rights with her. When I got to the part about privacy and not searching her belongings without cause, she started crying.
Her previous foster parent had gone through her room daily. Read her journal. Went through her phone. All without any safety concern – just “because I’m allowed to.”
She thought that was normal. She thought that was legal. She thought she had no say.
When I told her that wasn’t okay, that it violated her rights, that it wouldn’t happen in my home – something shifted. She realized that not all placements would be like that. She learned she could speak up.
That’s the power of teaching these rights.
Your Responsibility as a Foster Parent
Here’s the bottom line:
You are legally required to inform foster youth of their rights. It’s not optional. Its part of your job.
You are ethically obligated to help them understand what those rights mean. Not just check a box that says “informed of rights.” Actually educate them.
You are setting them up for success or failure. A teen who knows their rights can advocate for themselves in the next placement, in school, in the workplace, in life. A teen who doesn’t know their rights becomes an adult who doesn’t know how to stand up for themselves.
Which foster parent do you want to be?
Resources
Here are some resources for teaching the Foster Youth Bill of Rights:
Official Documents:
- California Foster Youth Bill of Rights (WIC 16001.9)
- CDSS Foster Youth Handbook
- Foster Youth Rights Handbook (available in multiple languages)
Organizations:
- California Youth Connection (CYC)
- Foster Care Ombudsman’s Office
- Alliance for Children’s Rights
- Youth Law Center
What to Give Your Teen:
- A printed copy of their rights in language they understand
- Phone numbers for reporting violations
- Contact info for their caseworker, CASA, and attorney
- Information about the Foster Care Ombudsman
Moving Forward
If you haven’t taught your foster teen about their rights yet, do it today. Not next week. Not when you get around to it. Today.
Sit down with them. Go through the Bill of Rights. Ask if they’ve experienced violations in previous placements. Ask if they have questions. Tell them you’re committed to respecting these rights.
And then actually respect them.
Because these aren’t just words on paper. These are protections for kids who’ve already been failed by the adults in their lives. These are safeguards for teens who’ve lost almost everything.
The least we can do – the VERY least – is make sure they know what their entitled to.
Your foster teen deserves to know their rights. Make sure they do.