I read a news article today regarding the 14-year-old child, Tyre, who fell to his death at an amusement park in Florida. The article highlighted that he had been turned away from 2 other rides that day because of his size. According to the article, he was 6 foot 5 and 340 lbs.
After reading the article, I sat in my office trying not to cry. Now to preface this, I had already cried once over his death, but this article hit me for a new reason. I felt his emotions in this article.
Here is a kid, at 14 years old, already feeling the stigma of being too large for activities. I have been there on multiple occasions, and am still there today. It is the reason I prefer the hermit life because I can avoid being told I am too large for things.
I remember walking into Disneyland for the first time. Someone told me it was “fluffy friendly” which means, the rides can accommodate larger people. I went alone for the first time; I did not tell anyone, except my mom, that I was going because I did not want to be in the embarrassing position of being told I was too big for rides and having someone I know witness it.
I was on cloud nine for at least 2 weeks. I could finally experience something that so many people were able to take for granted. I had that same joy he did when I got on the first ride. I called and told my mom. I think my words to her were terribly similar to Tyre’s words to his cousin: “They let me ride!”
There is that moment of exultation when you find something that you can ride. Somewhere you are not being turned away. There is an OMG moment, and I cannot even begin to explain how that feels, but I could feel it for him. Moments before his death, for a brief time, he felt the abandoned joy of finally being able to do something that others take for granted.
I can see the look on his face as he sat down on the ride. I can feel the unabashed joy in his mind as the ride went up and up to the top. I know the moment it reached the top, he most likely looked around and realized how on top of the world he felt and how this was the best day ever in his mind. For a moment, he knew what it felt like to be normal-sized.
I have heard statements: “well you let yourself get there” or “it’s the parents’ fault.” Honestly, do you really know the reason? The one thing that this world lacks is empathy and understanding. There is a multitude of reasons for weight gain, not always will it be because the person just was too lazy to do things. I have been on steroids off and on for the last two and a half years. It will do a few things to your body, and one of the biggest side effects is weight gain. Tack on to that an autoimmune disease that affects the joints to the point that even walking is hard, and you have a recipe for uncontrolled weight gain.
For Tyre, I can imagine the situation while different, was similar. At 14 years old, he was already taller than most of his classmates and peers and with that growth rate, he was feeling the need to eat consistently. There is no handbook in the world currently that can prepare a parent for how to handle that situation. Compound that with various other factors, it is not anyone’s place to judge why or how he got there. Shaming a child for a situation that they cannot control is unreasonable. Shaming parents who are already trying hard to raise their children the best they can is also unreasonable.